Self-introduction

 

Dear Professor Brad,

My name is Poh Cheng Quan. I am a year one student in civil engineering and currently one of your students in the effective communication module. I graduated from Nanyang polytechnic with a diploma in biomedical engineering. One of the reasons I chose to pursue my studies in civil engineering is that I am curious and fascinated by how a unique and complicated structure can be built on an empty land. The role of an engineer has captured my interest in civil engineering, as engineer plays a very important role in shaping the country. Even though I have studied in another engineering field, I believe that with hard work and maintaining a positive mindset can lead me to becoming a professional engineer in this specific field.

I enjoy travelling and eating good food, especially with family and friends. I love to discover and explore new places that I have not been to before. It really amazes me when I come across different types of unique structures around the world. Especially when the country is not developed but they still managed to build something that is so special such as the Wat Phra Kaew temple in Thailand. Another thing I love to do is trying food from different countries. Whenever I travel, my mind will be clear of troubles and it makes me feel very relaxed. My interest in exposing myself to new ideas and environment could help me greatly in whatever I do in future.

The goal that I wish to achieve from this module is to improve on my writing skills and to gain more confidence in presenting in front of a crowd. When speaking in front of an audience, I tend to get stressed-out and my mind would go blank at times, afraid that I would mispronounce words as I communicate mainly in Chinese back at home. At the same time, I am confident speaking in a smaller group and confident while speaking to strangers. I hope that by the end of this module I can gain more self confidence in presentation and also improve on my writing skills.

Best regards,

Poh Cheng Quan

Group 6


Revised on 8/4/2021

Comments

  1. Brad Blackstone21 January 2021 at 18:45

    Thanks for posting, Cheng Quan. I look forward to reading it and also reading the comments of your peers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jun Jie23 January 2021 at 05:02

    Hi Cheng Quan,

    Great effort in the drafting the email

    Here are some pointers from me regarding your introduction:-

    1.still managed to build something --> managed to build something

    2. tend to get stressed out --> tend to get stressed

    Certain words are not required to be used as they are repetitive meaning in nature

    Perhaps, you could focus on this area to make edits on your email to look out for any repetitive words.

    Otherwise, your content is sufficient and complete.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jun Jie23 January 2021 at 05:02

    Hi Cheng Quan,

    Great effort in the drafting the email

    Here are some pointers from me regarding your introduction:-

    1.still managed to build something --> managed to build something

    2. tend to get stressed out --> tend to get stressed

    Certain words are not required to be used as they are repetitive meaning in nature

    Perhaps, you could focus on this area to make edits on your email to look out for any repetitive words.

    Otherwise, your content is sufficient and complete.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ChengQuan26 January 2021 at 08:35

      Hi Jun jie,

      Thank you for pointing out some of the mistake I have made in my letter, I really appreciate it. I will look through my letter again and improve my letter by correcting some of the mistakes that you have found.

      Delete
  4. Brad Blackstone23 January 2021 at 20:58

    Dear Cheng Quan,

    Thank you for this introductory letter. It is fairly well presented and informative. You cover the parameters of the assignment and do so in a convinncing manner. The discussion of your interest in engineering and in your passtimes is quite detailed. I especially like the way you connect your hobby of travel and your fascination with different foods. What would make this come to life would be some specific examples. At the same time, you do a decent job of integrating the discussion of your goals and strength and weakness in communication.

    In terms of language use, there are quite a few issues to consider.

    1. sentence structure
    -- My name is Poh Cheng Quan, I am a year one student ... > (comma splice)
    -- The role that an engineer plays is very important in shaping the country which captured my interest in civil engineering. > (Phrase or word order: What captured your interest, the 'role' or 'the country'?)
    -- ....that with hard work and maintaining a positive mindset can lead me to becoming a professional engineer in this specific field. > (missing main subject of the dependent clause) ?
    -- Especially when the country is not developed but they still managed to build something that is so special that I would not have thought of. > (sentence fragment)
    -- Another thing I would love to do is trying different types of new food, whenever I travel my mind ... > (comma splice)

    2. meaning/words/phrasing
    -- on a simple land. > (meaning?)
    -- new places that I have not been before. > (collocation) new places that I have not been to before. Or ....new places that I have not explored before.
    -- Another thing I would love to do > (tense) Another thing I love to do
    -- to new stuffs > (be specific) ?

    Now I look forward to seeing how you can improve upon this initial effort.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ChengQuan29 January 2021 at 12:08

      Dear prof brad,

      Thank you for pointing out some of the mistakes I have made in my letter. I will edit my letter and improve on it!


      Best regards,
      ChengQuan

      Delete
  5. Raudhah28 January 2021 at 07:48

    Hi Cheng Quan

    I enjoyed reading your introduction letter. Overall, it was very clear and had a good flow.
    There are also a few things to take note of:

    - In this phrase "The role of an engineer has captured my interest in civil engineering, as engineer plays...", the engineer does not be repeated in the second part of the phrase and can be instead written as: "The role of an engineer has captured my interest in civil engineering, as one plays...".

    - In this phrase "Whenever I travel my mind will be clear of troubles..", there should be a comma in it -> "Whenever I travel, my mind will be clear of troubles.."

    -Lastly, in this sentence, "My interest in exposing myself to new ideas and environment could help me greatly in whatever I do in future.", the word "could" should be written in the present tense "can" which is more appropriate. I also feel that "will" is a more suitable word in this sentence and the word "greatly" should be re-arranged ->
    "My interest in exposing myself to new ideas and environment will greatly help me in whatever I do in the future."

    Other than that, it was an interesting post. Looking forward to seeing more of your posts!

    Regards
    Raudhah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ChengQuan29 January 2021 at 11:24

      Hi Raudhah,

      Thank you for reading my letter and also giving me your opinion. I will note down the parts where you have pointed out and make changes to my letter to improve on it.

      Best regards,
      ChengQuan

      Delete
  6. Saira29 January 2021 at 08:10

    Dear Cheng Quan,
    It is interesting to read your letter. At the same time, I felt that in few places you could have explained in detail. For example, third sentence in your letter, you had mentioned that one of the reasons for choosing this course. Since you have few reasons, you could have explained in detail.
    I felt that you could have avoided the word captured and replace with alternative word and not only civil engineers shape the country. Thus, you might consider restructuring your sentence.
    In your second paragraph, you have expressed that you enjoy eating good food. I would suggest that you could have elaborated what is good food and list down the food origin. The whole paragraph is little messy as you were explaining about food and structure everywhere. I would think, you could organise your interest for traveling first and explain all about travelling before you move on to food. So, there will be a flow in your letter.
    Your last paragraph, there is grammar error for the word goal. It should be goals. In the second last sentence, there is error “confident while”. I felt that you could restructure the sentence. In the last sentence, you could avoid the word “more”.

    I hope that you can consider my comments for your better writing as part of your goal. I am looking forward to read your improved version.

    Thank you

    Regards,
    Saira

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ChengQuan29 January 2021 at 12:03

      Hi Saira,

      Thank you for reading my letter and giving me feedbacks on how I can improve my letter. I will take note of your pointers and make amendments to it.

      Best regards,
      ChengQuan

      Delete
  7. Pin Kiat30 March 2021 at 10:04

    Hi Cheng Quan,

    It was fun being your groupmate for the current on going project. Thank you for sharing your life experience with us. I have learn a little more things about you after reading your post. However, I have spotted some minor mistakes in your post. For this sentence, "I come across different type of unique structures...'' can change to "different types". Another sentence would be "Whenever I travel my mind will be clear of troubles...", you could perhaps add a comma after the word "travel". I feel that this sentence "When speaking in front of an audience, I tend to get stressed-out and my mind would go blank at times, afraid that I would mispronounce words as I communicate mainly in Chinese back at home." is a little long. It will be great if you could split this sentence up. Lastly, for this sentence "I would have built more self confidence..." I believe that it has not happen yet, so it should be in present tense.

    I hope my comments will help you to improve in your writing skills. I will be looking forward to your updated post.

    Warmest regards,
    Pin Kiat

    ReplyDelete

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